I may have a shoe fetish. For some reason, I am fascinated with footwear. What people will put on their feet is interesting. But I don't have an interest in feet, per se. Or even in owning shoes. That's what I tell myself and it lets me sleep and night.
I find myself staring at shoes when I first meet people. I try to be subtle, but it may be obvious to anyone who catches a downward glance. I draw no inference from what I see - I don't associate people with their shoes. I just want to see what they are wearing.
I never discuss shoes with anyone. I never start a conversation about the benefits of Rockports or whether Bass is a better brand than Clarks. I wouldn't even know how to introduce footwear into a conversation. I have a problem making "small-talk" to begin with, so trying to talk to someone I know a little or a complete stranger about anything is tortuous.
I don't work in the shoe industry.
Growing up I owned two pairs of shoes. Each pair was replaced as I grew out of them. My tastes ran to what my family could afford. Of course the shoes fit, but if I wanted a pair of green and yellow Keds, that's what I got. One pair of "gym" shoes and one pair of dress shoes, usually brown. It stayed that way until high school when I added a pair of army boots (jump boots at first, then jungle boots). I managed to make do with just three pairs of shoes/boots through college and into my first job. I was an assistant teacher in an elementary school, assigned to the gym (sorry, physical education).
Then I got a real job. Eight to five everyday with a half hour for lunch and two fifteen minute breaks. A cubicle with a desk and a chair and a phone and a computer. Work. I decided I might need another pair of dress shoes. I didn't want to be that guy, the one who wore brown shoes with black pants. Now I had four pair of shoes.
As I moved forward with my "career" I added dress shoes - I found you need a casual pair and a dressier pair for suits. I changed jobs a few times and with each new dress code, I adapted. I was shocked to see that at one time I owned ten pairs of shoes/boots. I should have regulated my shoe consumption, but I found a niche for each pair.
One pair of cordovan dress shoes. One pair of black dress shoes. One pair of brown casual shoes. One pair of black casual shoes. Another pair of brown casual shoes. A pair of boots (just ordinary hiking bots, even though I don't hike or walk very far absolutely necessary). A pair of shoes demoted to yard work - thoroughly stained and beat up, but with enough of an emotional attachment to not want to throw away. One pair of trendy athletic shoes. One pair of athletic shoes in case I do anything resembling exercise. And one last pair athletic shoes that I got as a gift.
Ten pairs.
I don't when I started to notice people's footwear, but it has been within the past few years that I noticed that I stop and stare. Sandals, flats, high heels, clogs, boots, spiked heel boots, tennis shoes, thick soled casual shoes, loafers, tasseled loafers, thick-heeled shoes. It's not a fetish - or maybe it is. Every time I notice something, the same question creeps into my head - why? Or more exactly - what possessed you to buy and wear those shoes?
I don't need professional help. I don't go home and sniff my shoes and then do lewd things. I don't ogle shoe stores after hours or browse the Internet for pictures of shoes. It's just an observation, a silent question to myself and then it's over.
Don't get me started on belts.
